


Nothing Compares

by MorrPhyc



Series: Nothing 'verse [1]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst; Futurefic; First-Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-13
Updated: 2009-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-04 09:32:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorrPhyc/pseuds/MorrPhyc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark thinks it's time for Lex to confront what's bothering him and in the process Clark finds out what really matters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Compares

Lex fell back on his bed with a sigh and closed his eyes, rubbing a fine-boned hand across the lids. God, he was tired, and he was still on Tokyo time; jet-lag was such a pain in the ass. Still, it was good to be home. This trip had cost him two months overseas to complete his buyout. It was the culmination of a hectic three month takeover of an R&amp;D center. One that would give LexCorp billions in revenue and twenty-two hours ago the final contract was signed.

His lips curled in a sharp grin at the remembered look on his father's face when he realized that not only had he been outmaneuvered but that it was Lex that had done it. Lionel had set a hostile takeover in motion but Lex had worked behind the scenes and bought up 70% of the stock before signing the final contracts which closed LuthorCorp completely out. "All's fair, Dad," he said softly to the empty room, "no place for emotion in business." His eyes hardened. "You taught me well, you bastard."

He sat up shaking his head, shrugged out of his black woolen jacket and wearily made it to his feet. Pulling off his tie he crossed to the closet depositing both items in the dry cleaning basket for his staff to see to before removing his watch and platinum and onyx cufflinks which he deposited on the silver tray adorning his oak dresser.

All he wanted to do was sleep but knew he was too keyed up for it. Besides, there was something he'd wanted to do ever since he set foot off the plane. A small smile ghosted his lips as he crossed over to the bed and sat down, reaching for the phone as he did so. Only to set it back down and pick it back up again. It could be a short call, just say he was back, and that would be it. He rolled his eyes, disgusted with the unaccustomed uncertainty. He eyed the crystal decanter filled invitingly with his favorite single malt scotch and set the phone down again retrieving a glass instead. He poured a short drink and sighed as the warmth of the whiskey washed through him, the only thing that brought a temporary relief from the coldness that never left him anymore.

Lex reached to fill the glass again but felt guilt prickling along his conscience, hearing Clark's disapproval in his head. He set the glass down, disgusted by what he did just to keep Clark happy. Lex knew people who would pay a small fortune to find out how Clark did that. So, instead he picked up the phone, long fingers clutching it tightly, contemplating. Clark will know he's tired; he won't start an argument so soon. Won't start asking 'why' just yet. "And why can't you just admit you want to hear his fucking voice?" he muttered, punching speed dial. He stretched his shoulders and neck and toed off his shoes while he waited for Clark to pick up.

"Hello," came the vibrant but most unwelcome voice.

"Savannah, what a surprise." He was somewhat surprised to only hear the barest hint of sarcasm in his voice. Practice did pay off. Who knew? "Is Clark busy?"

"Lex." So much disdain conveyed in one syllable. If he didn't hate her he'd hire her. "Just a minute."

He listened as she called him and got a muffled reply.

"He's just getting out of the shower." She hesitated before rushing on. "Are you back? Or just another weekend visit? Clark said you weren't expecting to be back for another couple of weeks yet."

Lex flopped ungraciously on the bed deeply regretting foregoing the second glass of whiskey. "I've only just returned. And yes, my business is concluded. I was able to wrap things up advantageously."

"How fortunate," she said flatly.

He could hear the tightness in her voice and cocked an amused eyebrow. "Oh, yes, I am," he paused before adding penetratingly, "at whatever I choose."

Her silence was more telling that anything she could have said and Lex was about to retort when a warm rich voice filled his ear. "Lex! Where are you? Home?"

Now he could relax. "Yes."

"Well?"

Lex's grin was sharp. "Well, what?"

Clark laughed and Lex could see him shaking his head, dark hair falling in his green eyes. "Bastard. The R&amp;D? Are you the proud new owner of it?"

He ran a hand along his scalp. "It would seem so. And for future reference, as you possess the unknown genetic background, holographic parent and history aside, you should be more selective with your invectives."

He could hear the smile in Clark's voice. "Well, you told me you felt 'spawn of hell' was over the top, so I was trying for more mundane."

Lex's eyes narrowed. "I promise to return the volley when I've not been awake for almost 48 hours."

"Lex," he chided softly, "Why are you calling me, then? And congratulations on the win. I'll want details when you're cognizant again."

The older man stretched again, yawning. "Sorry. Too wired. Tired as hell but don't think I could sleep yet."

Clark's voice was quiet. "Nothing wrong is there?"

And Lex was just tired enough that he almost answered honestly, which was never a good idea when talking to Clark. "Of course not," he denied, recovering. "I return victorious from the battlefield."

"Again."

Lex rubbed a hand absently over his face. Well, fuck, he was wrong. Still, he tried to steer the conversation away from yet another argument with Clark. "Yes, again the conquering hero, albeit a seriously jet-lagged one."

"Hmmm," was Clark's noncommittal reply.

He was not doing this. He was too tired to win and he never, ever involved himself in an argument he couldn't win. "I'm sure Savannah is getting impatient," Lex snapped. "Far be it from me to keep you." He clicked off the phone before Clark could reply.

~~~~~~~~~

Clark stared at the phone in his hand. "Damned, self-righteous, obstinate asshole." His eyes flashed as he slammed it down. He turned to face a wide-eyed Savannah. "He hung up on me," he said totally stunned.

Savannah twirled an auburn curl around a perfectly manicured hand. "Lex is – well, you know him better than just about anyone, but he can be offensive even at the best of times."

Clark stared at her before bursting out laughing. "Offensive? Lex? Uh uh, no way. Lex is never that. Insulting, yes, offensive no. He's polite to a fault especially when being insulting. Cross him, or worse, insult his intelligence and he'll serve you on toast. But he'll do it with a smile," he added drolly. He shook his dark head. "No, something's wrong." Green eyes clouded with thought. "He's been on a rampage for over a year now. I don't think he's been home longer than a month at a time. I know Lex can be indomitable but – I can feel it. He's running from something."

The svelte woman wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him close. "Whatever it is can wait," she whispered. "You can go see him in a day or so, after he's rested and figure it out then." She really wanted the subject of Lex Luthor dropped. It was hard enough when he wasn't around; when he was she wanted to use his skull for target practice. She kissed Clark's throat softly. "Let me take your mind off of it."

He pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her thick hair. "I'm sorry, Vann." He pulled back, looking into her blue eyes, pleading for understanding.

Her eyes froze and she twisted out of his embrace. "No, Clark. You can't keep doing this. It's not fair."

He put his head down. "I know."

Savannah took a deep breath, trying to calm her anger. "Lex calls and you run, no matter when and no matter what." Her fists clenched as he stood there offering no excuses – and, more cutting, no apologies. Ice clawed into her bones. "Fine. Go. I have a meeting with a new client in the morning anyway and I need to be fresh." His guilty stance only fueled her further hatred of one Lex Luthor. She grabbed her purse and slammed out the door without looking back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Lex stepped into the steam shower, letting the hot water wash his tensions away, at least partially. He leaned into the spray, rubbing his scalp and neck. The water drummed along his tired nerves and sore body and he was almost totally relaxed when his robe was thrown over the shower door and a voice spoke loudly over the rush of water.

"You are not getting away this time, Lex."

He spun around almost slipping on the wet marble and clutched the spigot like a lifeline. When his heart rate was back down to a normal level and he could breathe again he angrily shut off the water. "Jesus fucking Christ, Clark." He grabbed the rich blue silk robe and belted it tightly around his wet body before wrenching open the shower door. "Don't ever, and I do mean ever, do that again," he said in a deadly calm voice.

Clark merely cocked an eyebrow in response. "Flying does have certain advantages." His face flushed with anger. "One being that I can be here in minutes and ask what the hell is wrong with you before you can spin me a fairy tale and get on a damned plane to destinations unknown."

Lex opened and quickly closed his mouth. Choosing retreat as the better option, he walked past Clark and into his bedroom, going straight to the decanter of scotch. He'd just picked it up when a large warm hand closed over his.

"Lex, don't, please," he pleaded. "You drink too much of that these days."

Lex drew his hand away, delicious heat burning his skin like a brand where Clark touched him. "Interesting thing for you say considering I'm always departing for destinations unknown," he parroted as he snatched the bottle from Clark and poured a healthy dose into one of the crystal glasses, drinking it down and quickly pouring another.

Clark swallowed hard, staring at Lex's stiff posture. "I told you," he said softly, "flying has its advantages."

Shocked understanding washed over Lex and his mouth drew into a tight line. He gripped his glass tightly as he turned to face Clark. "You've been spying on me?" he asked incredulously. "You son of a bitch." He threw the glass across the room, watching it shatter against the hardwood floor. "Get out." Cold, unmoving fury.

"Lex, it wasn't –" he stopped, running an anxious hand through his hair. Before he could try to explain again, Lex snarled and shoved past him throwing open the balcony doors.

"Get. The fuck. Out."

Clark could see the cold rage reflected in Lex's eyes, a look never before directed at him. He suddenly felt not so invulnerable and was shocked to realize he was feeling fear – of Lex. He bit his lip, knowing he had to fix this, had to explain why. The lump in his throat made it almost impossible to force out the single word response. "No."

"Clark, if you leave now, we can let this pass," Lex said in a low voice. His hands clenched tightly. "I don't give second chances."

The younger man smiled in spite of the very real threat and the emptiness it filled him with. He glanced at Lex through long lashes. "You do for me."

Lex's expression darkened even more before he finally turned to face the night sky. He leaned against the doorframe, shivering at the slight chill in the air on his still damp skin. "Everyone has limits, Clark."

Clark crossed over to him, stopping short of reaching out to run a comforting hand along the tense shoulders. "It's not what you think."

Lex snorted and turned, pinning Clark with a piercing look. "Really?" he drawled, taking a step toward the other man with a menacing prowl. "How long did you watch me, Clark? How many times? All night? All day?" Another step. "Did you watch me no matter where I was?"

He advanced again and Clark took a stumbling step back at the overwhelming presence of Lex, the intensity of focus.

Lex's voice dropped as he moved close enough to touch. "No matter what I was doing? Did it thrill you, Clark?" He ran a finger along Clark's jaw.

Clark took another step back, out of Lex's reach, his chest tight. "Lex, don't."

A ginger brow cocked. "Don't?" He stepped into Clark's space again, running a hand through thick black curls before gripping tightly, pulling Clark closer still. "Don't what?" The intensity flared into flame.

Clark wrenched out of his hold and pushed Lex away, heat coloring his cheeks. "This," he hissed angrily. "I'm not one of your games, Lex." Clark grabbed him, pulling him out into the cool night air. He looked into cold, contemptuous eyes and hated it, hated how lost it made him. Without thought, he pulled Lex down in front of him as he sat against the wall and waited for Lex to accept that he wasn't going anywhere. _All's fair, Lex_, he thought, _and I'm willing to cheat to keep you_. As he thought it, he knew he meant it with all his heart and regardless of the outcome he would be leaving Savannah's key on her counter in the morning. He couldn't lie to himself anymore.

Lex pulled his legs up close to his body, his bare feet and legs scraping along the cool slate pavers. He didn't like being controlled but he saw no point in wearing himself out struggling against the arms of steel wrapped around his chest. He briefly considered his limited options before grudgingly sinking back into the broad chest he was pinned against. "I cheat, you cheat?" He chuffed out a twisted laugh. "Clark, I'm impressed."

Clark sighed, tired. "I'm not gonna let you get me angry again, Lex. I know what you're trying to do and it won't work."

He felt Lex draw in a sharp breath and rushed on before Lex could get on the offensive again. He shook him slightly. "No. Just listen. You may or may not have a right to be angry with me," he paused as he felt the body in his arms tense further. Exasperated, he conceded. "Okay, yes, I suppose I was spying on you. But, I've been worried about you, a-and you won't talk to me and I'm tired of watching you drift further and further away." He gripped him tighter. "It hurts, Lex," he whispered painfully. "Watching someone you care about become so distant, so damned cold." He twisted Lex around to face him, cradling the back of his head tenderly. "Don't you know how much you mean to me?"

Lex didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this ultimate irony. Everything seeped out of him, leaving nothing but a cold empty space. His eyes shut as his head fell against Clark's shoulder. "Not enough," he confided softy to the throat so close to his lips he could feel the heat of his own breath.

"Oh, Lex." Clark whispered, pulling the other man closer, cradling him. Tears stung his eyes. "Is that what you're running from? Me?"

Lex pulled back and out of Clark's comforting warmth and stared into the black sky. "Luthors don't run. We strategically retreat."

Clark's heart clenched. "Love isn't war, Lex."

The eyes that turned to him were barren. "It is for me."

Clark did the only thing he could think to do. He kissed him. A soft tender touch to Lex's lips. "It doesn't have to be," he said as he leaned in for another kiss but Lex drew back, his hands pushing Clark back.

"Clark, don't." He paused at the hurt in Clark's eyes and turned away, his words of denial sticking in his throat. He laughed softly to himself. There was a time he'd have sold his soul for this moment even up to five minutes ago. He was just so fucking tired of it all and no matter how far down into himself he reached all he felt was cold. "Dad would be so proud of me," he muttered. A warm hand wrapped around his but he didn't dare look back at the man that could have meant everything to him if he still had a heart to trust to someone.

Clark leaned over, resting his head on Lex's shoulder. "I always wanted that, too. My Dad being proud of me. It's something we all need from our parents. I can't imagine having to live without it."

"You get used to it." Lex rubbed a thumb over Clark's knuckles absently.

"Do you?" Clark asked softy. "I wonder. I was lucky; I never had to doubt that he was proud of me or that he loved me no matter what. And he taught me that love was just that: unconditional. It wasn't a prize or a toy or even a conquest. Yes, love could be won and fought for but once you had it, it was the rarest gift you could ever receive." He felt Lex's hand clutch at his but didn't pull away. "I always knew I loved you, Lex. I just never knew how much." He shifted around pulling Lex close to his side, gently touched the elegant jaw, commanding those blue eyes to stare into his without words. And stare they did, sharp, pained and so desolate. Nothing, nothing mattered anymore, nothing but making sure that look never graced that beautiful face again. His voice filled with reverent emotion. "I never knew what a gift you were." His fingertips traced the outline of Lex's smooth jaw and throat. "Nothing compares to you, Lex, nothing."

Lex gently tugged at the searching fingers and brought them to his lips, kissing them tenderly before drawing them away. "I'm so cold, Clark." His voice broke. "So cold." The world shifted and strong hands caressed his temples and an impossibly beautiful face filled his senses; green eyes shining with so much love for him it hurt to look at it.

"I know you love me, Lex. I just never let myself see it." He smiled sadly. "Savannah saw it."

Lex swallowed, nodding slowly.

Clark pressed his lips to Lex's temple. "Admitting it won't make you weak no matter what your asshole of a father told you." He pulled Lex's head to his shoulder, his fingers catching on the fabric of the silk robe as he absently ran his hand soothingly along Lex's back. "My parents didn't have much but they loved each other. Nothing was too much for them because they had each other. They trusted that." He almost wanted to cry when he felt Lex's arm inch slowly across his chest before holding tight. "Say it, Lex. I-we-please, say it."

Lex felt something inside him break at those words and he sank completely into Clark's strength, letting himself be pulled into a cocoon of warmth and safety, something he'd never felt before. Clark's breath, his touch, his trust, his love, all seeping into his very bones, warming places long given up to cold despondency. He swallowed his fear and let himself fall. He had to or he truly would be lost. Almost too overwhelmed to speak, his throat raw with emotion, he somehow managed to say it, and for the first time since he was a child, meant every word. "Love you – so much."

Strong arms embraced him, lifted him and before he even knew what had happened, he was being lowered gently to the bed. Clark lay down next to him, pulling him back into the protective circle of his arms and he felt a peaceful lassitude overtake him. And as he drifted off to sleep he felt warm lips press to the top of his head and a voice whispered: "You're safe now."

The End

**Author's Note:**

> As always, to [info]ladyra for the fabulous beta and searing comments. Talk about reaping what you sow. *VBG* You always make my stuff better than I knew it could be.


End file.
